Untethered

I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be somewhere, enjoying someone's company, and not having to worry about inserting the phrase "my boyfriend" into a sentence so as to make sure that other person knew not to cross The Line. It's been 5 years since I was last so fully unattached and while foreign and sometimes terrifying/miserable, being single is sort of fantastic. Okay, some days it's less-than fantastic, but not having to answer to anyone when I'm out with a guy friend? Priceless. Not having to account to someone else the money I've spent. Glorious. Not having to take care of someone when they get home trashed at 3:30 in the morning and either throw a pity party or start a fight? The most blessed, blessed, blessed thing in the world.

Anyway, now that I'm leaving the city of course I'm hanging out with all of the people I enjoy. I like that part, too: not having to worryabout getting home by a certain hour because that's when someone will be home and God forbid he's alone for a few hours. Thursday night I had a rough day at work, and afterwards stopped by my friend's for some fresh-fruit margaritas and serious chillin'. Yesterday I met up with the same friend and his gf and their roommate to watch the US game at the beer garden and then we all spent the entire day together. It was fabulous! And I'm not just saying that because I was drunk most of the time, either.

Last weekend I went to Jersey to help Keita's sister and brother-in-law clean their house a little; their kitchen is being redone and there was dust on EVERYTHING, so Kilolo and I went to wash things, get the AC installed, and assist in the organizational effort to the extent it was possible without a sink, or the dishwasher being hooked up. While I was there I told them what happened with Alex and one thing that was mentioned was that I've gotten to a point in my life where I don't need projects anymore, and I don't need trainees. Alex may have seemed like he had it together but he very, very much didn't-not in the career sense, really, because he did know what he wanted and was capable of going after it-but in the general life sense he was a boiling hot mess.

Now, all of that said, I'm still in a holding pattern of sorts, which means I'm not ideal relationship material (nor do I want to be) right now. So as much as I'm not trying to deal with anyone else's shortcomings at the moment, I'm also not going to inflict mine on anyone. I think that's fair, no?

Men are tricky beasts, and I have a penchant for attracting the obtuse and obstinate. Love 'em, but I gotta leave 'em alone.

And also? I'm pretty much too awesome for everyone. ;)